Bridge Over Troubled Budgets

This one was part of a bigger more elaborate project. I used to joke around with my grocery store conservative friend about how I thought he should be Prime Minister, and even though I was an NDP and wouldn`t actually vote for him, I would happily manage his campaign.  (I genuinely meant that. He was smart and really good at people, and if it weren`t for the fact that he would probably want to set a bunch of lame Tory policies privatizing everything and sucking away human rights, I still think he would make an exceptional leader.)  So for Christmas one year I built him a mock campaign proposal, which I found hilarious, but him not so much.  In fact that was the official breaking point at which he was like "I hate you forever!" (although not in those words.  Actually, not in any words.  ...At all.  Insert cricket chirps.)  This song wasn`t the best part of the proposal, but it`s the only part that really fits into the unrecorded & unreleased song category, so here`s another attempt at destroying a Paul Simon (& Garfunkle) classic.

Bridge Over Troubled Budgets

When we're short of funds

money's tight

When there's a defecit

I'll balance

I'll privatize

the public sector

cut civil servant jobs

Like a bridge over troubled budgets

I will lay you off

When you're frivolous

spending public funds

I will enquire so hard

I'll bury you

Tear you apart

exposing scandals

to bring your party down

Like a bridge over troubled budgets

bringing spending down

I'm responsible

fiscally

You'll like my policy

All our debt soon gone away

See free trade shine

with corporate tax breaks

and lax enviro laws

Like a bridge over troubled budgets

What enviro laws?